The moment that Shelly took on elder care for her mother, she didn’t know what she was getting into. At first, she figured that it wouldn’t be all that difficult because her mother was cogent and still pretty resilient and strong for a woman approaching 80. However, Shelly realized pretty quickly that there were going to be plenty of challenges, some of which she wasn’t prepared for.
Shelly began to complain to her husband about everything she had to do to help her mother. Over time, he wasn’t listening too much to her complaints. Then she started telling her best friends about the challenges that she faced.
As the elderly home care provider for her mother, she had to stop by her mother’s house in the morning, most mornings before work, then again in the evening. She had to help out with getting the laundry done and she still didn’t understand why. The more that she seemed to do to help her mother, the more she ended up having to do and it was making things more frustrating for her. She simply didn’t know what to do sometimes, either.
For Shelly, she was making many of her own challenges worse because she simply didn’t know what she could do to help her mother. She had her assumptions, then began doing more and more for her mother through the days and weeks that followed. She was taking on responsibilities that her mother could easily do for herself, and she wasn’t even talking to her mother about these things; she was simply assuming that her mother couldn’t do them.
As a result, she was taking on too much work and too much of a burden. Shelly’s story is similar to what many elder care providers share when they first begin providing home care for elderly loved ones. They worry about their loved one trying to do too much, but as a result they end up doing things that the elderly individual could easily do. This can lead to them relying on their caregiver more.
It’s important to make sure that you don’t do more than your elderly loved one needs. They may require some level of support, but that doesn’t mean that you have to do everything. When you begin down that path, you will actually be causing more potential problems, and more reliance for the elderly individual on help.
If you’ve never provided elder care before, make sure that you learn as much as you can about it so that you can be the best support for your loved one as possible, and so that it won’t be that challenging, or overwhelming, for you.
If you have a loved one who could benefit from the help of elder care in Brighton, NY contact the caregivers at Caring Hearts of Rochester, LLC. We help seniors and their families with many levels of home care service. Call (585) 245-0134 for more information.
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