Ever since your father passed away you’ve been trying to convince your mother to move. You think she would do much better if she was living with you. After all, though you only live a few hours away, you know she’s struggling, not as physically fit or strong as she once was, and you worry about her.
You assume if she moved in with you and your family she’d be fine. You would be able to keep an eye on her, help her whenever she needed it, and she would no longer have to worry about cleaning, keeping up with that house, preparing her own meals, or living alone.
For now, though, she wants to remain where she is.
That’s her right. As an independent, autonomous adult, she has every right to decide where she lives, what level of help or not she receives, and so forth. People become rooted in their communities, build friendships and networks, and sometimes even grow close with neighbors.
She may be reluctant to give all that up, even if it meant spending more quality time with you and possibly her grandchildren.
What you may be overlooking, though, in your zeal to have her move in with you is just how much effort will be required on your part to look after her. What you see when you stop by for a visit, even spending a weekend every once in a while there, may be a limited scope of the challenges she is facing.
She might have friends or neighbors helping her take out the garbage, do some grocery shopping, and more, but what about the other things? She may have trouble getting around on her own, relying on a walker or cane, so how would that translate to your house?
How much support are you willing to give her?
Are you ready to wake up in the middle of the night with her calling for help? Are you prepared to run late to work because she didn’t wake up when you did, but is hungry and still doesn’t know where all the dishes and everything is?
You may not realize it, but she may need more support than you can offer, even if she moves in with you. Senior care is still going to be one of the better options available, even if you do manage to convince your mother to move in with you.
If you or an aging loved one are considering Senior Care Services in Rochester NY, contact the caring staff at Caring Hearts of Rochester today! Serving Rochester, Pittsford, Greece, Webster, Canandaigua, Fairport, Perinton, Penfield, Brighton, Henrietta and surrounding communities. Call 585-245-0134.